Explaining dementia to a child can be one of the most emotional and complex conversations a family has. Children often notice changes in a grandparent long before adults acknowledge them aloud - forgetting names, asking the same questions, or acting differently than before.
The good news? Children are often more resilient and understanding than we expect, especially when we give them age-appropriate information, space to ask questions, and tools to stay connected.
If your parent or loved one has recently been diagnosed with dementia, here’s how to approach this important conversation with the younger members of your family.
1. Use Honest, Simple Language
Children need clear, truthful explanations they can understand. Using vague phrases like “Grandpa is just getting old” can create confusion or even fear. Instead, use terms like:
- “Dementia is an illness that changes how someone’s brain works.”
- “Nana might forget things or get confused, but she still loves you.”
According to Dementia Canterbury, children as young as five can begin to understand the concept of memory loss when it’s explained clearly.
👉 See their full guidance here
2. Tailor the Conversation to Their Age
A toddler might only need a few words of reassurance, while older children or teens may want more detailed explanations.
- Ages 3 - 6: Keep it simple and reassuring. Focus on feelings and safety.
- Ages 7 - 12: Use more examples. Explain how dementia affects memory and behaviour.
- Teens: Be open about what dementia is and how it progresses. Encourage questions and emotional expression.
The Alzheimer’s Society UK emphasizes the importance of honesty while also offering reassurance and stability during changes.
👉 Read more from Alzheimer’s UK
3. Acknowledge Their Emotions
Children may feel sad, scared, angry, or even embarrassed. Let them know all feelings are valid. Say things like:
- “It’s okay to feel upset or confused.”
- “I feel that way too sometimes.”
- “Do you want to talk about what you’ve noticed?”
Create space for them to express themselves in their own time. Art, storytelling, or role-playing can be helpful for younger children.
4. Keep Communication Ongoing
Talking about dementia isn’t a one-time conversation - it’s an ongoing dialogue. As the condition progresses, continue checking in with your child.
Ask:
- “How are you feeling about Grandma lately?”
- “Did anything today make you feel confused or upset?”
Dementia UK encourages families to normalize dementia-related changes over time, so they feel less frightening or unpredictable.
👉 Dementia UK’s child support resources
5. Encourage Involvement and Connection
Kids often want to help and be involved. Give them small, meaningful ways to stay connected:
- Looking at old photos together
- Helping with simple activities like setting the table
- Drawing pictures or making memory books
The Alzheimer’s Association notes that maintaining connection helps children feel empowered and reminds them that their relationship with their grandparent still matters - even if it’s different than before.
👉 See Alzheimer’s Association tips
Supporting Families with Elli Cares
The Elli Cares app helps families manage daily routines, reminders, and wellness tracking for loved ones living with dementia. It also keeps the care team - grandkids included - connected and informed.
With features like video reminders and daily updates, it makes it easier for young family members to understand what’s happening and be part of a loving, supportive team.
👉 Learn more at www.elliapp.co
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